Are you who you want to be?
>> 22 August 2010
Just when I start thinking I'm pretty happy with myownself, just the way I am, I do something really stupid.
My character could definitely use a little work. Earlier in the week, I was at one of my favourite stores. One of my favourite cashiers was working. Life was good. During the course of our brief conversation, I said something that she kinda seemed to take the wrong way. After I left, it kept nagging at me. As is my frustrating habit, I kept trying to figure out a way to 'fix' things. Finally, I just handed it over to God. Oh, it kept popping up in my head, and I kept having to shove the thoughts aside. No, I've turned this over to God and I am NOT taking it back! Last night, I was back in the store and she was working. No hint of any hard feelings, PTL! Most of these times, I eventually figure out I made much more of things than they actually were, knowwhutImeanVern?
We started talking and I asked a question another cashier, a couple days ago, had been unable to figure out. The other cashier has been there about a month and I've only seen her twice. Both times were extremely frustrating and both times she made quite a few really silly mistakes. This was after several weeks of one thing after another after another... I'm ashamed to say, my patience was a bit thin. Oh, I wasn't the least bit unpleasant toward her, but I muttered about it later.
Now, in my defense - not that there really IS any defense - I've had a crummy month, I was super tired, I was relieved that she had obviously given our last meeting nary a thought... Anyhow, as she was bagging my purchases, I asked the question. Her answer was exactly the opposite of the first young lady's. I mentioned we'd had problems and, as the conversation progressed, ended up saying some things I shouldn't have.
Oh, I am so embarrassed to confess this! I didn't say a lot, but what I did say was unkind and would have hurt that girl's feelings had she overheard. We both laughed and I left the store thanking God she was still friendly... in a real good mood... for about 3 seconds! Oh my gosh! Whatever was I thinking?! What kind of witness was THAT?!
Ya know, I have learned this lesson before. I just hope it finally TAKES this time. Yes, I have a problem with pride. Which is ironic, as my other major problem is lack of confidence. (Go figger!) I have, unfortunately, a pretty low tolerance for ignorance. Now some people are just lazy and have no excuse . But some are just doing the best they can. Either way, I need to keep reminding myself what God and Will Rogers keep trying to teach me. Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.
So, are you the person you want to be?
Are you the person others think you are?
Are you happy with how others see you?
Please pray for me, that I'll learn to keep my mouth shut until my attitude improves. 8-}
