Friday Funnies

>> 07 August 2009

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LETTER FROM A FARM KID
(now at Camp Pendleton, San Diego, Marine Corps Recruit Training)

Dear Ma and Pa:

I am well. Hope you are too. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer that the Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to join up quick before all of the places are filled.

I was restless at first because you got to stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m., but I am getting so I like to sleep late. Tell Walt and Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot and shine some things. No hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split, fire to lay... practically nothing. Men got to shave, but it's not so bad... there's warm water.

Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon, etc., but kind of weak on chops, potatoes, ham, steak, fried eggplant, pie, and other regular food, but tell Walt and Elmer you can always sit by the two city boys that live on coffee. Their food plus yours holds you 'til noon when you get fed again. It's no wonder these city boys can't walk much.

We go on "route marches," which the platoon sergeant says are long walks to harden us. If he thinks so, it's not my place to tell him different. A "route march" is about as far as to our mailbox at home. Then the city guys get sore feet and we all ride back in trucks.

The country is nice, but awful flat. The sergeant is like a school teacher. He nags a lot. The captain is like the school board. Majors and colonels just ride around and frown. They don't bother you none.

This next will kill Walt and Elmer with laughing. I keep getting medals for shooting. I don't know why. The bulls-eye is near as big as a chipmunk head and don't move, and it ain't shooting at you like the Higgett boys at home. All you got to do is lie there all comfortable and hit it. You don't even load your own cartridges. They come in boxes.

Then we have what they call hand-to-hand combat training. You get to wrestle with them city boys. I have to be real careful though, they break real easy. It ain't like fighting with that ole bull at home. I'm about the best they got in
this except for that Tug Jordan from over in Silver Lake. I only beat him once. He joined up the same time as me, but I'm only 5'6" and 130 pounds and he's 6'8" and near 300 pounds dry.

Be sure to tell Walt and Elmer to hurry and join up before other fellers get onto this setup and come stampeding on in.

Your loving daughter,
Alice

3 comments:

Kim @ Homesteader's Heart 07 August, 2009 19:31  

OH I love it my friend.
I'm glad to see you're back in blogland a little more. I missed you!
HUGS.
Kim

Jennsmere 07 August, 2009 21:47  

I'm still laughing! How cute it this!! I'd like to meet this Alice...

Thanks SophieMae for giving me a chuckle today...
Be blessed,
Susan

Mikki 08 August, 2009 19:42  

I was LOL at the beginning then ROFL once I got to the end.. Too cute. Loved that it was a girl at the end.

About Me

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I love JESUS! I'm a 7th-generation Florida native, dyed-in-the-wool Southron belle. I just recently dusted off my genealogy notes and, thanks to a long-lost relative, nearly doubled the details. We started home schooling when only 'outlaws' did it and still enjoy a daily quest for knowledge. These days, the family spends a lot of time birding, butterflying, spending as much time in 'the woods' as possible while they're still here.
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