Friday Funnies

>> 13 November 2009

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Amazing home remedies...

1. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the vegetables while you chop.

2. Avoid arguments with females about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.

3. For high blood pressure sufferers, simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure on your veins. Remember to use a timer.

4. A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

5. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives; then you'll be afraid to cough.

6. You only need two tools in life - WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn’t move and does, use the duct tape.

7. If you can't fix it with a hammer, you've got an electrical problem.


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DAILY THOUGHT: Some people are like Slinkies; not really good for anything, but they bring a smile to your face when you push them down the stairs.

2 comments:

Kim @ Homesteader's Heart 13 November, 2009 07:06  

Oh my goodness. Those were hilarious. I loved the quote on the bottom. That cracked me up!!!
Love you sweet sister.
Kim

Mary 13 November, 2009 14:04  

LOL!!!! I think you've been talking to my husband about the hammer and electrical problem! Love the mouse trap...LOL! My grandgirl will love the slinky one...she'll think of her sister! HA! Great funnies!!!

Have a blessed Friday!

Mary

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I love JESUS! I'm a 7th-generation Florida native, dyed-in-the-wool Southron belle. I just recently dusted off my genealogy notes and, thanks to a long-lost relative, nearly doubled the details. We started home schooling when only 'outlaws' did it and still enjoy a daily quest for knowledge. These days, the family spends a lot of time birding, butterflying, spending as much time in 'the woods' as possible while they're still here.
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