Friday Funnies

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PERKS of BEING OVER 50

1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be

released first.

3. No one expects you to run--anywhere.

4. People call at 9 pm and ask, " Did I wake

you ???? "

5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

7. Things you buy now won't wear out.

8. You can eat dinner at 4 pm.

9. You get into heated arguments about pension

plans.

10. You no longer think of speed limits as

challenges.

11. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no

matter who walks into the room.

12. You sing along with elevator music.

13. Your eyes won't get much worse.

14. Your investment in health insurance is finally

beginning to pay off.

15. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists

than the national weather service.

16. Your secrets are safe with your friends

because they can't remember them either.

17. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to

manageable size.

18. You can't remember who sent you this list,

but you notice these are all in big print for your

convenience

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SUCH a DEAL

For all of us who are married, were married, wish you were married, or wish you weren't married, this is something to smile about the next time you open a bottle of wine:

Sally was driving home in Northern Arizona when she saw an elderly Navajo woman walking on the side of the road. She stopped the car and asked the woman if she would like a lift? With a silent nod, the woman got in the car. Sally tried in vain to make a bit of small talk with the Navajo woman.

The old woman looked intently at everything she saw, studying every little detail, until she noticed a brown bag on the seat behind Sally.

"What's in the bag?" asked the old woman.

"It's a bottle of wine I got for my husband."

The Navajo woman was silent for another moment or two. Then speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder, she said,




"Good trade."